How to Prepare Text Messages for Court in a Missouri Divorce or Child Custody Case
Text messages have become the most commonly used method of communication in most families. Whether you are involved in a divorce, a child custody dispute, or trying to resolve ongoing conflict with your ex over parenting issues, text message conversations may contain information that could be relevant to your case.
Text messages between spouses and co-parents often evidence parenting arrangements, financial discussions, missed exchanges, disagreements, threats, or other communications that may help explain what has happened during a family law dispute.
When it comes to using text messages in court, simply taking a screenshot of a text message does not automatically mean a judge will allow it to be used as evidence. If you plan to use text messages in your Missouri family law case, it is important to preserve them correctly, organize them precisely, and understand the requirements for presenting them as evidence.
The following are practical steps to take when preparing text messages for court.
1. Preserve the Original Text Messages
It goes without saying, in order to use text messages in Court one must be certain to preserve the original text message conversations. When saving these messages, it’s important to avoid inadvertent (or purposeful) deletion, edits, or altering of the messages of any kind. Please do not try to use AI to alter the conversation to make your position look better. Don’t delete any messages with your ex or your children, you never know when a message might become relevant down the road.
It’s crucial to avoid deleting messages, editing screenshots, or altering conversations in any way. Even if a message seems unimportant at the time, it could become relevant later in your divorce or custody case.
Practical tips:
Keep unaltered original messages saved on your phone.
Be certain your device is backed up (ie. icloud)
Save complete conversations rather than isolated messages.( see above- don’t delete anything,
Use an current export options to preserve conversations in a reliable format
Keep copies of relevant messages in a secure location.
2. Screenshots Must Show the Whole Conversation
Screenshotting messages is the most frequently used method of preserving text messages for divorce or child custody. Yet, if not prepared correctly according to the Rules of Evidence, the opposing party can object and the judge may decide the screenshots are not admissible. If not admitted case, the judge cannot will not consider anything in the messages when deciding the case.
Be sure your screenshots include:
Date and time of the messages.
Identity of sender and recipient.
Phone number or other identifying information associated with the sender.
Entire message is visible in the screenshot
The surrounding conversation that helps explain the message and add context
Including the surrounding conversation helps reduce the risk that a message will appear misleading or taken out of context.
3. Do Not Alter or Edit Messages
In times a turmoil, it can be tempting to highlight certain words, crop out unrelated portions, or combine multiple screenshots to make a point easier to understand. Yet altering the original presentation of a text message can create questions about its authenticity.
Never:
Change the words in a message.
Remove portions of a conversation without preserving the original.
Add text or that could be confused with the original message.
Change dates or digital timestamps.
Produce a modified screenshot as an original communication.
The goal here is to provide reliable evidence, not simply the most favorable-looking screenshots.
4. Be Certain the Identity of the Sender is Clear
According to Rules of Evidence in Missouri, text messages must be authenticated before they can be admitted into evidence. The process of authentication shows there is sufficient evidence that the messages are actually what the person offering them claims they are.
This can become an issue when someone disputes sending a particular message.
For example, the opposing party may argue that:
They didn’t send the message.
A 3rd party had access to their phone.
The screenshot was altered.
The phone number does not belong to them.
Evidence that may help establish authenticity includes the phone number associated with the conversation, the recipient's familiarity with the sender's number, the content of the messages, and testimony from someone who sent or received the communications.
In a 2025 Missouri Court of Appeals decision, State v. Lumzy, the court discussed the need to establish that text messages were actually authored by the person alleged to have sent them. The decision illustrates why preserving the original messages and being prepared to explain their source can be important.
5. Order Messages Chronologically
A large amount of text messages taken over a period of months to years can be a pain in the butt to manage. It can also save a bundle in legal fees if you provide your attorney with an organization labelled collection of communications, rather than a large stack of printed text messages.
We recommend arranging messages by date and subject matter.
For example:
Parenting time: Messages about visitation schedules, exchanges, cancellations, and missed parenting time.
Child-related expenses: Messages about medical bills, school expenses, extracurricular activities, and child support.
Communication concerns: Messages involving threats, harassment, intimidation, or repeated inappropriate communication.
Divorce-related matters: Messages about finances, property, household expenses, or agreements between spouses.
Co-parenting disputes: Messages involving disagreements about school decisions, medical care, travel, or other parenting responsibilities.
You may also want to create a simple timeline identifying important dates and explaining why particular conversations matter.
This can help your attorney understand the history of the dispute without having to sort through every message individually.
6. Focus on Relevant Messages, Not Just Upsetting Messages
In Missouri divorce and child custody proceedings, evidence generally needs to relate to an issue the court is being asked to decide, otherwise it may not be admitted into evidence because it lacks evidence.
For example, messages may be relevant when they help establish:
A parent's willingness or unwillingness to cooperate.
A pattern of missed parenting exchanges.
Discussions about a child's health, education, or safety.
Statements concerning financial obligations.
Threatening or inappropriate communications.
Attempts to resolve parenting disagreements.
In a child custody case, the court's focus is on the best interests of the child. A text message that demonstrates a recurring concern about a child's well-being may be more meaningful than an isolated disagreement between parents.
7. Text Messages May Face Evidentiary Challenges
Even when a text message is genuine, it does not necessarily mean the court will admit it.
Authentication: Can you establish that the message is genuine and was sent by the person identified?
Relevance: Does the message relate to an issue the court needs to decide?
Hearsay: Is the message being offered to prove the truth of something someone said, and does an applicable exception or exclusion allow it?
Completeness and context: Does the evidence provide a fair picture of the conversation, or does it leave out important information?
Foundation: “Lacks Foundation” is a common objection to the introduction of evidence into the record. A foundation in evidence is the initial proof required to show a judge that a piece of testimony, a document, or a physical object is authentic. Four questions are used to lay a proper foundation to introduce evidence in a courtroom:
1. Do you recognize this document? Establishes that the witness has familiarity with the item.
2. What is this document? Identifies the item and connects it to the case.
3. How do you recognize it? Establishes personal knowledge or unique distinguishing mark)
4. Is it true and accurate? Or in the same/substantially the same condition. Verifies the integrity or accuracy of the evidence.
8. Limit Future Non-essential Communications
If you are involved in a divorce or child custody dispute, remember that your own text messages may be used against you
Before sending a message to your spouse or co-parent, take a moment to consider how it might appear if a judge reads it later.
A few helpful practices include:
Keep communications calm, professional, and focused on the children when co-parenting.
Avoid threats, insults, and emotionally charged responses.
Do not use text messages to argue about every disagreement.
Keep discussions about parenting arrangements clear and simple.
Do not delete communications simply because you regret sending them.
Text messages can provide valuable insight into the communication and conduct of spouses and co-parents. When properly preserved and presented, they may help prove important facts in a Missouri divorce or child custody proceeding.
If you are a man facing a divorce, child custody dispute, or other family law matter in Kansas City or the surrounding Missouri communities, having knowledgeable legal guidance can help you understand what evidence may support your case and how to prepare it appropriately.
Contact the Men's Center for Domestic Resolution to discuss your situation and learn how we can help protect your interests.
Disclaimer: This article is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute legal advice. Every family law case is different. The admissibility of text messages depends on the facts of the case and applicable Missouri law. Consult a qualified Missouri family law attorney regarding your specific circumstances.
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