Divorce is typically an unpleasant experience to say the least. However, the experience becomes more challenging and disheartening when children are involved, and even more so when children with special needs are involved. The parents of special needs children are inundated with sometimes overwhelming demands associated with parenting these unique children.
In fact, the challenging realities for parents raising a child with special needs often times can contribute to the frequency with which these parents seek divorces. Unfortunately these challenges are usually only exacerbated once the divorce process begins.
A child with special needs is typically gravely influenced by their parent’s words and actions which occur during the dissolution process. It is essential for both parents to consider the fragility of the child by utilizing careful and deliberate planning such that the child remains confident that he or she is unconditionally loved by each parent and there isn’t the potential to lose the relationship with either parent. A Missouri divorce can bring out the worst in the parties, but can also cause a special needs child to experience severe emotional and behavioral issues such as acting out, because the children are frequently insecure and uncertain of their future life with their parents splitting.
Even happily married couples of special needs children often contend with challenging issues encompassing their child such as the mutual acceptance of a diagnosis by both parents, as well as the proper medication that gives the child the best shot at a healthy and happy life. Regrettably these medical issues often become a focal point during contentious custody battles between the divorcing couple. Additional common points of animosity and disagreement during a custody dispute include how a child responds to different parenting styles while with each parent separately, whether the proper diagnosis will be communicated to the child’s school and put in his/her file, and most commonly whether the child should be enrolled in special classes or even a special school in response to their needs.
Family attorneys often see widely divergent points of view when it comes to raising a special needs child. Frequently one parent is more accepting of the child’s diagnosis and needs, and is often highly involved in the child’s treatment and daily needs. Often the other parent may be in denial about the reality of their child’s condition and frequent needs. For this reason parenting and visitation schedules require more attention and specialization than for typical divorces involving children. It is essential both parents understand and actively work to meet the child’s special needs so the child can function regardless of which parent’s home they are at. If either or both parents are unable or unwilling to do this, then it might be in the child’s best interests to reside primarily with one parent.
When it is determined the parents are unable on their own to formulate an agreement regarding the child’s realistic needs and treatment plan, the court has the option to appoint a specialist to examine the child for a complete evaluation. The specialists in turn are able to deliver recommendations both to the parents and the court, the details of the child’s needs and help to physically address those needs.
Undoubtedly the challenges facing a family divorce involving a special needs client are astounding. It is essential the parents work together for the needs of the child and if they cannot the court appoint a specialist it aide the parents in moving forward with the care and education of the child. Ultimately is mostly on the parents to insure the best path forward for the special needs child.
If you are a man experiencing a child custody dispute or a divorce involving a special needs child, please call our office at 816-287-1530. Attorney Rob Davis is empathetic and has dedicated his life to helping men through challenging domestic situations. The Men's Center for Domestic Resolution is Cass County's family law firm for men.
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