The effects of Divorce on Children

                  It’s no secret that marriages in the U.S have a high failure rate, and that rate increases when the parties are not in their first marriage. According to Psychology Today, slightly less than half of all marriages end in divorce in the United States, but for subsequent marriages the failure rate is 67% and for third marriages the likelihood of divorce is 73%. Further, according to a survey conducted by the the U.S Census Bureau in 36% of weddings at least one party had been previously married.

24 million children lived in single parent households.

                  With all these divorces, it’s not surprising that many children live in single parent households. In fact, a 2023 study showed 24 million children lived in single parent households. On average, of those who make the mistake of getting married for a second time, half of them were parents with at least 1-2 children. The effects of divorce on children is

                  When families are broken through divorce or child custody disputes, unfortunately not all parents remain in the children lives.  Sometimes a parent simply chooses to leave and voluntarily avoids contact and support of their child. In other circumstances, parental alienation by one parent disrupts or destroys the relationship between the other parent and the child.  Research suggests the loss of parent is harmful to the development of the children involved. Children with two parents in their lives generally experience improved emotional stability and security, with a more diverse set of role models and more family help with academic and developmental needs.

The typical structure of the american family has evolved over the past 100 years

                   More than likely your grandparents were never divorced but there is almost a 50% chance your parents were divorced. The days of most families resembling that of Ward and June Cleaver didn’t last much longer than the television showed they were characters in, Leave it to Beaver, which aired from 1957 to 1963. Since 1900, the rate of divorce for women increased fourfold from 4.1 per 1000 people to 14.6 per thousand people in 2022.  However, the overall divorce rate has decreased since 1980 when there was a high of 22.6 divorces per 1000 people. ³

    The structures of families in the United States has changed drastically over the past ½ century or so. As of 1960, 73% of children lived with two parents in their first marriage. Yet by 2014, only 46% of children were living this way.  Further, in 1960 only 5% of all births occurred between non-married partners. By 2014, this figure increased to 40% and has held steady at 40% since then.

Children with two involved parents turn out better on average

                  Children who are primarily raised in single-parent and stepparent families experience higher poverty rates and lower levels of educational and career success than do kids who grew up with their biological family intact. These children are more likely to engage in early sexual activity, be unmarried when they have children and have greater substance use and risky behavior like sex, drugs and rock and roll.  One study from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (The CDC), showed on average children have a 16% higher likelihood of experiencing significant behavioral problems if their parents are divorced when the child is between the ages of 7 and 14. According to the a research report published in 2019, children who have divorced or separated parents are 1.5 to 2 times as likely to live below the federal poverty line.

                  When children have both parents actively involved in their lives, they are exposed to more diverse perspectives and experiences than if only one parent is around. Many children will learn or mimic certain behaviors of their parents, and exposure to a wider variety of ideas and methods of approaching life’s challenges gives them more weapons in their repertoire to succeed and find happiness in life. By observing healthy communication, dispute resolution and emotional support, these children learn essential social skills that aide in having successful interpersonal relationships and academic success. 

The effects of divorce on children can be significant

Having a mother and father in a child’s life creates stronger feelings of security and stability, something that is essential for a child to thrive. Studies show, as does common sense, children see more success in life when they feel safe and loved by both parents. Studies also show having two parents fosters increased self-esteem and self-worth in the children. This is because when children receive affirmation, attention and love from the two most important people in their lives, this signals to their developing brain that they are important and they matter.  Self-confidence is directly related to success and happiness in life, and the lack of self confidence typically creates a host of problems in life.

                  Let’s face it, kids are a lot of work and are very expensive. When it comes to absorbing the stress and exhaustion of raising children, as well as the expense, two parents are typically better than one.  A family having two incomes creates financial stability and allows families to invest more in their children’s education, healthcare and extracurricular activities.

                  Two-parent households and healthy parental relationships are very important for children’s emotional growth and development. Parents should be aware of the potential negative effects of divorce and separation on the children involved, and should plan accordingly when deciding whether to end a marriage and for co-parenting after a divorce.  Divorced parents should strive to make sure their children feel loved and secure during their development. If you are facing divorce or a child custody dispute, call the Men’s Center for Domestic Resolution at 816-287-1530. Attorney Robert Davis can help explain to you Missouri Law and how it applies to your particular situation.