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Writer's pictureRob Davis

Who keeps the engagement ring in Missouri when a relationship goes south...

Updated: Sep 19


Diamond engagement ring

As we are all aware, some engagements and many marriages in Missouri end prior to, “till death do us part.”  Because engagement rings are usually quite expensive, disputes frequently arise between the parties as to who should keep the ring when the relationship ends prematurely.  The man believes he should get to keep the ring he purchased back, because well he purchased it. In a similar way, women believe their engagement ring was a gift and she should get to keep it no matter what.


 A common question amongst men facing a divorce or the break off an engagement is, who keeps the engagement ring? In law there is a common joke amongst lawyers that the answer to any legal question is, "it depends." The answer to who keeps the engagement ring can vary depending on what state you are in. In Missouri however, the answer is more straightforward. 


An engagement ring in a Missouri engagement and/or marriage is a traditional and common way to show your commitment to a woman you plan to spend the rest of your life with. It’s also an expected gesture by almost every woman worldwide in anticipation of her marrying a man.  According to theknot.com, the average price of an engagement ring in the U.S. is approximately $5000. Now this number is a bit misleading because some well financed (perhaps foolish) men spend $50,000 or well over on an engagement ring. In other words, the median cost (with half of the rings being less than and half being more than), is less than $5000. The average cost of an engagement ring in the Kansas City, Missouri metropolitan area is also less than the national average.


Understanding Property Division in Missouri


Courts in Missouri divide the property in a divorce into marital property and non marital property. Marital property is any property aquired after the parties were married. Marital property can also include the increase in value of assets owned by either party after marriage, if the opposite spouse contributed to the maintenace or increase in value of the property. For example if one spouse owned a rental property prior to the marriage, but during the marriage the other spouse contributed their time and sweat equity into the property, any increase in value of the property would likely be considered marital property by Missouri courts.


Non marital property is classified by Missouri courts as property owned by either spouse prior to the beginning of the marriage. Missouri courts will also often consider any property acquired by either spouse by gift or inheritance during the marriage as non marital property. Non marital property is not divided in a Missouri divorce, rather each spouse keeps their own non marital property.


Missouri is an equitable division state.  This means the divorcing couple’s marital property is divided between them in an equitable, but not necessarily equal manner. "Equitably" basically just means fairly, and equitable distribution can be influenced by a variety of factors when it comes to Missouri divorces. One such factor is each spouse’s ability to support themselves financially.  If one spouse has a much greater ability to support themselves financially, then a court may award more than half of the marital assets to the other spouse. Marital behavior, including abuse or infidelity is also considered by courts in Missouri when determining property distribution.




Man placing diamond ring on woman's finger


Who Keeps the Ring...


In Missouri divorce courts in the Kansas City, Missouri area, courts may take into consideration whether the relationship ended in a divorce, or whether the engagment was broken off prior to marriage, when deciding which party gets to keep the engagement ring.


In engagement:


In Missouri, engagement rings are given with the expectation of marriage, so they are considered conditional gifts. If the engagement is ended prior to marriage, the ring usually should return to the giver (usually the man). However, the particular circumstances surrounding the break up can result in outcomes in contrast to this general rule of thumb.


If the fiance who gave the ring is also the one who broke off the engagement without a justifiable reason, some judges might rule that the recipient spouse can keep the ring after the break up. Each case is different, and specific outcomes may depend on additional factors involved in the break off of the engagement. Some courts in Missouri believe the person who initiated the breakup should not get to keep the engagement ring.


In Divorce


In a divorce, Missouri courts generally consider the engagement ring as non-martial property “if” it was given as a gift prior to marriage. If the ring(s) are given before marriage, they are considered gifts and therefore non-marital property, so each recipient of the rings would keep them as their own property. In the rare situation where a ring is given to the recipient after marriage, the rings would then be considered martial property and subject to equitable distribution by Missouri law.


Man and woman holding hands with wedding rings

One additional exception would be a Missouri pre-nuptial or post-nupital agreement. If the agreement considers what happens to the engagement ring in the event of a divorce, then the agreement would dictate what happens to the ring in a Missouri divorce. A prenupital agreement must meet certain requirements in Missouri to be valid and legally enforceable.


Contact an experienced Missouri Men’s Divorce Attorney if you are facing a divorce and have questions about the engagement ring or any other property distribution in divorce. The Men's Center for Domestic Resolution helps men facing divorce and child custody disputes in all of the Kansas City, Missouri metropolitan area, including Lee's Summit, Missouri, Blue Springs, Missouri, Independence, Missouri, Harrisonville, Missouri, Pleasant Hill, Missouri, and all of Jackson County and Cass County, Missouri.


A Divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotionally grueling experiences of your life. It is important to have an attorney who understands the law. 

Lead attorney Robert Davis at the Men's Center for Domestic Resolution represents men facing divorce, child custody and property division issues. Please contact him today at 816-287-1530.  If you don't contact our office, please contact another qualified attorney to ensure your hard earned property is protected.


Yours truly,


Rob Davis, DDS, Attorney at Law


The Men's Center for Domestic Resolution

1005 Cedar Street

Pleasant Hill, Missouri 64080

(816) 287-1530

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