It is well established by the media and by legal research that women now initiate the majority of divorces in the United States, and this includes Missouri divorces. A variety of studies and surveys prove unequivocally that women don’t just begin a slight majority of divorces, but that they in fact initiate 60-70% of divorces in the U.S.
The ultimate decision to permanently end a marriage in Missouri is quite difficult, and married couples may deliberate for months to years in some circumstances, often involving soul-searching or participating in counseling, before calling it quits. But when it comes to who typically initiates a split, there’s obvious track records showing who makes the final call to end things. In Western heterosexual relationships, women choose to end a larger proportion of divorces than men do.
Why do women choose to end the marriage? Several factors contribute to this phenomenon:
1. Today, females have a much better opportunity to be financially self-sufficient and financially less reliant on a man. Over the past few decades, women in the U.S. have evolved to become increasingly economically independent due to increased opportunities and activity in the workforce and higher education and training levels. The increased ability to rely on oneself gives women more choice to leave unhappy marriages, because these women are not as reliant on their husbands for financial support and survival.
2. Women want more out of marriage today. Contemporary women in the United States today often have much higher expectations and continuous standards for a marriage, seeking an ambitious yet emotionally available man who treats her as an equal. If these expectations are not met, the woman may be more inclined to initiate a divorce.
3. Different Societal Norms: Social norms around marriage and the stigma of divorce have changed markedly, making it increasingly normal for a women to pursue divorce if she is in an unsatisfying marriage. Because the stigma surrounding divorce has dissipated, women are increasingly allowed to prioritize their own well-being and happiness.
4. Changing Gender Roles and Relationship Dynamics: Today’s women are not expected in most marriages to simply stay home to take care of the house and children. Many women who were previously homemakers and stay at home mothers, began to feel disrespected by their husbands who didn’t see them as contributing equally to the family because they failed to generate income. Today’s working women may even initiate divorce because they believe there is an imbalance in contributions between the spouses when it comes to household and family obligations and tasks.
5. Abuse: Today’s women are more likely to seek help and leave the relationship if they are victims of domestic violence when compared with past decades. Obviously this is a positive sign and the change in attitude amongst women is saving not only themselves from abuse, but their children also. Women today are much less likely to stay in an abusive relationship long term.
6. Lack of Personal Growth: Following child birth and young child rearing, many women are beginning to realize their marriages do not support their personal goals and visions. Consequently, women may be intrigued by opportunities and relationships with new people exclusive from the family and the marriage.
The importance of independence
In many societies, divorce did not exist over 100 years, so it is a relatively new legal action. For example, in England only 1 in 500 marriages ended in divorce prior to the year 1900. Today, on the other hand, approximately half of all marriages end in divorce.
Auther Heidi Kar, a psychologist and expert on domestic violence at the Education Development Center in the United States, explains, it’s no coincidence that the rise of divorce has coincided with women’s liberation. “Because economic independence is an imperative before a woman can attempt to leave a marriage, either alone or with children to support, it’s extremely difficult for women to leave a marriage unless they have some way to make money on their own,” she says. “Also, because gender roles become more complicated as women begin to gain independence, more marital conflict naturally arises.”
In a similar manner, women’s gradual entry into the national workforce has provided them with the chance to end unhappy marriages for the first time. These women were no longer financially stuck in abusive partnerships or relationships where their emotional needs were not met, and so women began to initiate divorces at greater scale.
Across cultures and geographies, women who are economically able to take care of themselves… are more likely to initiate divorce – Heidi Kar This also helps explain why women with college level education are much more likely to end a marriage. “Across cultures and geographies, women who are economically able to take care of themselves, which usually is tied to higher education level, are more likely to initiate divorce than women who are unable to economically sustain themselves and their children,” adds Kar.
Yet, the increased financial earning power of women in and of itself, doesn’t fully explain why women have become increasingly more likely to initiate a Missouri dissolution of marriage petition than their husbands. The reasons why a greater percentage of women are initiating divorces has continued to rise and the rationale is multifactorial.
Some women realize that the expectations they have when they enter marriage may fail to match up to the actual experience of their marriage. Experts agree women often have a much higher expectation of how their husband will meet their emotional needs than men do. This can lead to frustration, an unfulfilled life and consequently a divorce.
Licensed marital counselor Gilz Fort-Martinez, who specializes in couple’s conflict resolution, says because men generally develop with lower emotional intelligence than women, and this can lead to women feeling relatively alone and feeling forced to do the bulk of the emotional labour in the relationship. This higher emotional intelligence also allows females to be more finely attuned to problems and relationship “red-flags," than are men.
Women usually also get less emotional benefits from marriages. This could make single life seem more desirable for them. In contrast, married men get multiple perks from being married, including a longer life span and increased income. Women simply do not typically gain the benefits from their marriages in the same way as men do. This likely is because men typically don’t have as much to give to a relationship as women do. Instead, wives generally assume the often under-appreciated role of stay at home mom or homemaker, sometimes in addition to working.
While women initiate most divorces in the United States, It doesn’t necessarily follow that women are the cause of most divorces. Many women only decide to leave the marriage after they see that long-standing dissatisfactions within the marriage are unlikely to ever be resolved. Both spouses usually contribute to these problems within the marriage, but women are simply more likely to file for a dissolution of the marriage before men.
Trust the Men's Center for Domestic Resolution
If you are a man facing family law issues such as divorce (AKA "dissolution of marriage"), child support, child custody, or paternity issues in Cass County, Missouri or the surrounding areas such as Lee's Summit, Blue Springs and Harrisonville, we got you! We provide men with the representation they can count on during one of the most difficult times of their lives. I, Robert M. Davis, DDS, Attorney at Law am a single full time father of three teenage girls, and have personally experienced the stress and emotional pain associated with family law matters in the courts. Let me passionately represent you. Call us at (816) 287-1530 to schedule a virtual or in person consultation so we can show you how we can help you through this challenging time of your life.
Your's truly
Rob Davis, DDS, Attorney at Law
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